10 Things To Do In Napoli (and Amalfi)

I like to think of Napoli my a crazy drunk great aunt, who wears fabulous dresses, chain smokes, and says inappropriate things about her lovers at Thanksgiving dinner. You can see how beautiful and charming she must have been as a young girl, but you can't help but love her more now that she's a little run-down with a lot of personality.

(Disclaimer: I don't actually have a great aunt like this, but if I did she would be awesome and probably be named Esmerelda or Tatiana and wear sparkly scarves)

This is basically just to say that I went to Napoli for Thanksgiving, ate three pizzas at once with my small friend, and wrote a poem to a street donut. I decided to write this post list-style. So here we go:

1. Find a good hostel

Ari and I stayed at the Hostel of the Sun, which,  although somewhat sketchily on the 7th floor of an office/apartment building that needed five cent coins to operate the elevator, ended up being fantastic. The best thing about this place, aside from it being walking distance from everything, is their reputation as the most friendly and helpful staff ever. Over the three days we stayed there, the desk clerks gave us some really fantastic recommendations I'd never have discovered.

Highlights were the four Indian gentleman snoring in our room and the adorable puppy that greeted us at the door. Is it inappropriate to take pictures of your hostel-roommates while they're sleeping? Probably.


2. EAT PIZZA

We ended up choosing Pizzeria Sorbillo (via Tribunali 38) in the university district, one of the most famous pizzerias in Napoli, and wow. This was our Thanksgiving dinner, and we went hard on three whole pizzas. It was one moment in my life I wished my mouth was as big as Julia Roberts', because I was eat-pray-loving the hell out of that pizza and trying to devour it before my body realized how disgustingly full I was. That was probably too much information... Anyway these are the pizzas we had, my favorite was the third.  

Pizzas:

1. Prosciutto, salami, mushrooms, black and green olives

2. Salami, shredded zucchini, and ricotta cheese

3. Sausage, red and yellow bell peppers, and panna (cream)

We ate all of them, and washed them down with white wine and lemon soda. Thanksgiving!

3. Try some pastries

For our first dessert we had baba au rhum (rum-soaked pastries) with thick mascarpone and sour cherries. The next day, we got a fantastic recommendation from our favorite clerk to check out his favorite pasticceria in the entire city (high praise from a Neopolitan). If you want to try some incredible sweets, head to the beautiful Chiaia district on the water, and find Pasticceria Moccia on Via San Pasquale (map). We got a small assortment of:

1. Mini wild strawberry tarts: little tarts filled with pastry cream and covered in the tiniest of wild strawberries, no bigger than your pinky-nail
2. Baba au rhum: rum syrup-soaked spongey, light pastries shaped like ice cream cones and famous in Napoli. You can get them the size of your finger or as big as your head
3. Sfogliatelle: many-layered leaves of crispy pastry with a thick filling of lightly flavored orange ricotta cream and dusted with powdered sugar
4. Zeppole di San Giuseppe: a little piped ring of pastry, fried or baked, topped with a swirl of lemon cream and Amarena cherries

And we ate them sitting on the marble slabs down on the beach, listening to music on our iPod speakers and napping in the sunshine.


4. Check out the stores and street markets

We were lucky enough to catch a bunch of the Christmas markets, but there are many year-long ones. the stalls sell everything from rudely-shaped magnets to toilet paper with soccer team logos on it. I found the miniature and Nativity markets most interesting. Almost every stall had differently sized. elaborate little scenes with light-up grottoes, dolls of the holy family, and even tiny painted food.

We also went shopping on the more main streets. When we walked past the Adidas window display we had to do a double-take. Yes, these are in fact nylon zippered mini-dresses with optical patterns, cone-boobs, and gold cherubs in sunglasses holding giant money signs. How much did they cost? €320 on sale.

5. Eat at a hole-in-the-wall 

Another gem from our favorite hostel clerk Luca. He was so happy that we spoke Italian in a hostel full of English speakers that he sent us to a practically impossible to find local haunt called Cibi Cotti in the back corner of an indoor market outside the city. The Neopolitans call it Dalla Nonna because the tiny restaurant and kitchen are ruled by a 90-year-old grandmother, who doesn't actually cook anymore but sits in a chair in the corner ordering around her harried generations of offspring.

We were a bit overwhelmed being the only Americans in the bustling place, so we asked our friendly waiter to bring us whatever he thought we'd like. Gino did not disappoint. I have no idea what any of this was, and it wasn't plated fancily, but it was one of the best meals I've had in Italy.

There was a dish of peas and little round noodles that was SO flavorful, a pasta dish with tons of different pasta shapes in a potato-tomato sauce, and a risotto with spinach and big chunks of pancetta. Then he brought us huge pieces of chicken with these olive-oil and rosemary potatoes that made me tear up a little with happiness. And the best part was that all of this with a big basket of warm bread and a bottle of frizzante came to €7 each! (When they said €14 we tried to give them €14 each and they laughed so hard).

6. Watch the sunset from the castle

We walked along the ocean back towards the center, and just off the coast there sits Castel dell'Ovo on a tiny peninsula. It's open to the public, and you can walk up to the very top where the canons sit overlooking the bay to watch the sunset with Mount Vesuvius in the distance. 

7. Go dancing

(photo from club site)

If you're in the mood for a night out, head to Piazza Bellini, where there are a ton of cute aperitivi places and bars. When you're ready to dance, walk down via S. Sebastiano to Galleria 19. It's an underground cavern with a huge bar, leather couches along the walls, and great DJs. 

We got there early and fell asleep on one of the couches for half an hour. Party!

8. See a Caravaggio

(photo from Wikipedia)

I'm the biggest Caravaggio fan you've ever met. I'm like a 13-year-old and he's my Justin Bieber. One of his works resides in Pio Monte della Misericordia in Napoli, so of course my only request was to drag Ari in front of it to stare for a solid half hour. The church is easy to find and it's only €5 to see this masterpiece as well as their upstairs art museum. 

Just look at those angels... 

9. Eat a street donut

I can honestly say that this is one of the most incredible things I've ever put into my mouth. I smelled the graffe (donuts) the first night, and spent the next two days searching for the source. When you go into this tiny little shop, two nice gentlemen will greet you like family and grab some dough to make a single donut. Just for you. They fry it right there, cover it in sugar, and then pump hot Nutella into it, handing it to you like the nurse will probably hand you your first-born child. The first bite I took made it hard to believe that I could ever love a child as much as that donut. I had to stop in an alleyway to eat it and make weird sounds. Ari was cracking up until she tried a bite. 

On the way home, we drafted a spontaneous poem to this donut. I've thought long and hard about sharing this, partially because I seem genuinely insane, but I decided to go for it with apologies for any blasphemy. This is Oh Donut by Ari Rudess and Moorea Hall:

Oh donut

Sweet sexy chewy love
You were like a breath of fresh air      
     you opened my eyes
Like a plump angel just birthed      
     but already in its sexual prime 
You explode in my mouth like the divine truth      
     erupts in the minds of religious men
Each bite like the goddess of song singing sweet nothings      
     into my sugar coated ear
For you I would cross mountains, just to lie on a pillow of your sugary dough,      
     brushing my face on the rough and sparkling texture      
     like gods cheek when he hasn't shaved for a few days
Crisp yet warm you meet me like a prophet parting crowds of men.      
     Breast heaving you enter me, my body welcomes you. We are one
Light as air but filled with the thick sin of chocolate.      
     Like an innocent prostitute. 
Oh magdalene. I lie reckless, heaving      
     the taste of your sweetness haunting my entire being
Is this life? Are you my life? My love. 
Fingers coated in a film of grease and sugar.      
     I slip into an alleyway to savor you alone
I lick my lips and taste you. I hear a whisper on the wind,      
     perhaps carried by your crumpled wrapper. 
"You are mine, forever." And I am yours donut. 

And I am yours 

So yeah, try the donuts. 

10. Head to the Amalfi coast

Our last day, we took a train up to Positano. It was windy and grey, but the city on the cliffs is heart-stoppingly gorgeous. We stayed at Villa Palumbo bed and breakfast, with a private balcony and a view of the green cliffs and perched houses. We kept the French doors open and mostly laid in bed all day, reading and talking and enjoying the sea breeze. 

We left the hotel twice to climb down to the town for food. Our first meal was homemade ravioli and orecchiette with rabe and sausage, and our second was sausage manicotti and mussels. The next morning we had breakfast in bed, explored the town a little more (and ate lemon pastries), and then headed back to Napoli to catch our train home. 

It was a fantastic, food-filled vacation. If you can get down to Napoli and Amalfi, go!